I caught an episode of a new TV series, The McCarthys. It’s actually pretty good. The Mom has three sons and one daughter.
At the end of the show, as each of her sons leave, Mom says, “You were always my favorite” to each one. When the daughter leaves, she’s carrying a bowl of leftovers. Mom’s comment? “I’ll need that bowl back.”
Even Ted Bundy’s mother staunchly defended his innocence. Her last words to him were “You will always be my precious son.”
I mean no disrespect to Mrs. Bundy. She passed away in January 2013 and she did raise four other children who did not become serial killers.
But I have to wonder if the situation were reversed and it was a daughter who was a serial killer would Mrs. Bundy have reacted the same?
Mothers who show blatant favoritism between siblings, particularly between boys and girls, aren’t doing anyone any favors.
Dr. Phil backs up that claim. The less-favored child feels not good enough and unworthy while the favorite child may eventually hate being treated special. Feelings of anger and resentment form, not only between siblings, but also with the world at large. Acting out for attention – any attention, including negative attention – could lead to disastrous results.
As a daughter who plays second fiddle to a younger brother I am all too aware of the adverse effects of the favoritism displayed by a mother for her son.
As a result of blatant favoritism, my younger brother is something of a parasite, depending upon women to take care of his every need. I was the overachiever in an effort to procure some of that favoritism only to learn too late in life that nothing I do will ever be enough. I will never acquire the attention and affection my mother showers upon her youngest son.
Before his passing, even my older brother acknowledged the youngest as her favorite.
The dynamics differ in every family. In mine, my younger brother always believed he deserved a life of privilege. Instead of working towards that life, he expects someone to give it to him. For example, he expected to be given a car upon his graduation from high school. He was sorely disappointed as our Dad didn’t believe in handing things to his children. He believed people should work for what they want.
I have spent my entire life working toward the goal of being a successful author. In my younger years, this goal was an effort to attain my mother’s attention which I so craved. After one particularly hard-learned lesson, this goal is mine and mine alone. I am determined to succeed with my writing endeavors for myself.
Throughout the years, I coped with being the less-favored child by writing, reading and excessive daydreaming, also known as Maladaptive Daydreaming. I strive to gain positive attention rather than become a mass murderer or a serial killer. Although, being a Scorpio, I really could have gone either way. But I’m not fond of the sight of blood.
Make no mistake, the adverse effects of showing favoritism towards a daughter over a son - by either parent - have just as much impact. I was never privy to such favoritism and I can only write from my own unique perspective.
Dr. Phil’s article When Parents Play Favorites can be found here http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/530
Pen is the author of 20 titles both in print and e-book format. Her latest endeavor, Nero’s Fiddle, can be found here http://bit.ly/1rsEQFX
At the end of the show, as each of her sons leave, Mom says, “You were always my favorite” to each one. When the daughter leaves, she’s carrying a bowl of leftovers. Mom’s comment? “I’ll need that bowl back.”
Even Ted Bundy’s mother staunchly defended his innocence. Her last words to him were “You will always be my precious son.”
I mean no disrespect to Mrs. Bundy. She passed away in January 2013 and she did raise four other children who did not become serial killers.
But I have to wonder if the situation were reversed and it was a daughter who was a serial killer would Mrs. Bundy have reacted the same?
Mothers who show blatant favoritism between siblings, particularly between boys and girls, aren’t doing anyone any favors.
Dr. Phil backs up that claim. The less-favored child feels not good enough and unworthy while the favorite child may eventually hate being treated special. Feelings of anger and resentment form, not only between siblings, but also with the world at large. Acting out for attention – any attention, including negative attention – could lead to disastrous results.
As a daughter who plays second fiddle to a younger brother I am all too aware of the adverse effects of the favoritism displayed by a mother for her son.
As a result of blatant favoritism, my younger brother is something of a parasite, depending upon women to take care of his every need. I was the overachiever in an effort to procure some of that favoritism only to learn too late in life that nothing I do will ever be enough. I will never acquire the attention and affection my mother showers upon her youngest son.
Before his passing, even my older brother acknowledged the youngest as her favorite.
The dynamics differ in every family. In mine, my younger brother always believed he deserved a life of privilege. Instead of working towards that life, he expects someone to give it to him. For example, he expected to be given a car upon his graduation from high school. He was sorely disappointed as our Dad didn’t believe in handing things to his children. He believed people should work for what they want.
I have spent my entire life working toward the goal of being a successful author. In my younger years, this goal was an effort to attain my mother’s attention which I so craved. After one particularly hard-learned lesson, this goal is mine and mine alone. I am determined to succeed with my writing endeavors for myself.
Throughout the years, I coped with being the less-favored child by writing, reading and excessive daydreaming, also known as Maladaptive Daydreaming. I strive to gain positive attention rather than become a mass murderer or a serial killer. Although, being a Scorpio, I really could have gone either way. But I’m not fond of the sight of blood.
Make no mistake, the adverse effects of showing favoritism towards a daughter over a son - by either parent - have just as much impact. I was never privy to such favoritism and I can only write from my own unique perspective.
Dr. Phil’s article When Parents Play Favorites can be found here http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/530
Pen is the author of 20 titles both in print and e-book format. Her latest endeavor, Nero’s Fiddle, can be found here http://bit.ly/1rsEQFX